Are you done yet? That was one of the first things I heard after the birth of my fourth child. I couldn't believe somebody would actually ask such a question.
Maybe I should have expected it when the first question I was asked upon announcing my pregnancy was "You're pregnant again?

My first two children were boys, and they were six and a half years apart. My third was a girl, born 19 months after the second. I think everybody thought that since I had "finally" had my girl that I was finished having children and our family was complete.

Then, 11 months later I announced I was pregnant with my fourth child. The first thing I heard was "Again?". I became deluged with comments like "Don't you know what causes that?", "I thought you would stop when you had a girl", "You are getting fixed after this one, right?". As I got further into the pregnancy people started to become more accepting and seemed to also get excited with me. I thought that the remarks were a thing of the past. I admit that I was a little disappointed when only one friend visited and that family seemed to visit out of obligation and not a real sense of excitement. However, watching the faces of my older three children when we brought our little girl home made up for all of that.

I still found myself asked over and over again "Are you done yet?" and "Are you having any more?" or "Are they all yours?" I don't know why, but I felt as if it was mandatory to say, "Yes, I am done".

I have now have six children and still I'm plagued with the same questions over and over again, by the same family, friends and strangers. I don't understand it because I would never walk up to somebody and say "Are you only having two children?" or "How can you only have one or two children and deprive them of love and comradery of a house full of siblings?"

I'm sure that every mother with more than one or two children understands my feelings about being asked "Are you done yet?" I'm sure all of you cringe when you are asked "Are you fixed?" as if you were an animal. Now, I've taken a path of humor about it all and when asked "Are you done yet?" I answer "For the moment" or "No, I think I'll have at least ten more". If I'm asked "Are you fixed?" I simply say, "I never knew I was broken" At least these answers seem to bring the topic to a halt and everybody has a smile on their faces.